my day

well, today was absolutely terrible. I officially hate myself. I hate being on my period. i hate how moody I am. I hate when I cry. I hate when I yell. I hate when I get so mad that I just don’t care and say whatever I want. I’m ruining my relationship that I’ve wanted for all my life for nothing. I’m just getting mad for nothing, and like I cried for like 30 minutes straight, I hate it when i cry I look terrible and it makes me feel terrible. But all of it got me thinking.. should I just act fine, even when I’m not? I hate the fights and the arguements, so maybe I should just forget about it and just not do antyhing anymore. I wont cry, get mad, or show any sign of saddness. I just don’t want the problems and I don’t want all the tears. I just don’t want shit to be about me anymore, I am not looking forward to my birthday at all, I just don’t want suprises or anything. I just want it to be a normal day like every other.. I just hate not knowing things..